On Love – continued


Have you reflected on what is your idea of love as I requested in my On Love blog? It’s remarkable how we bandy this word around, but in many ways most of us are struggling to define it and find it. For me the experience of love came crushing down the second I laid eyes on Leor. Don’t get me wrong, I experienced heartfelt love toward Leor’s father, Freddie, but it was a “romantic love” that turned to familiarity and habit within a couple of years.
parenting
When they put my child in my arms for the first time, every part of my being came to attention. As my every sense — visual, olfactory, auditory and touch — were breathtakingly taking him in, a new sense arose: protection at all costs. Here began a whole new discovery of love. And I mean discovery of love because no one ever really teaches us about love. We read books and see movies and hear stories, but love is not like learning geography or math, it is an experience. We need to actually experience it in order to know what it is.

The ideal would be to experience love from our parents, e.g.to feel them feel us. But as I discussed before, most of us did not feel our parents’ emotional love; we experienced their physical love for us. They took care of our physical needs, not our emotional ones, and this left us hungry for emotional love. What I felt for Leor was new to me: an overwhelming feeling of wanting what’s best for him. It hurt me when he cried and I rejoiced in his laughter. I wanted to do whatever I could to contribute to his overall well being.

While this was true of what I felt for Freddie, it disappeared when my needs were in conflict with his and vice versa. My love for Leor was all encompassing and often superseded my personal needs. My drive to promote his healthy growth and development stretched me beyond my ego. My love for him forced me to look honestly at myself, my limitations, my fears and my selfishness. For his sake I needed to learn and grow beyond my sense of identity. As I focused on taking care of him the best way I possibly could, I became a better mother, woman, friend, child and human being.

My understanding and expression of love continues to evolve and reach new depth and heights. It has become clear to me that,

When I am in love’s presence and am acting from love, I and the person I love challenge and support each other to become much more than we think we are.

Do you recognize this vision of love?

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3 Comments on “On Love – continued”

  • Barbara Hasan
    14 July, 2010,

    Beautiful blog and picture. As you say- love could be a confusing issue, it is for me. I’ve had love

    without return. When young and love was shown to me- I’d better grab it- marry it- as no one will

    ever love me this much again. Then I confused love with lust. I also have a son- I know that feeling

    of protection at all costs and challenging each other to be more than we can image. My spiritual

    teacher says “love everyone, serve everyone and remember God” At times I think “My Goodness

    I have to love this one too?” And that love is inside us at all times waiting to shine. I try to be

    “in Love” all the time. I guess I need to learn about the different levels of love. There is love and

    there is LOVE

  • Mika Michael
    11 December, 2010,

    love hurts badly and its so hard its so hard to let it go when its hurts badly. Mothers’ love cannot be compared to any other love. I never had that. Love is mostly shown to people who don’t have it. Love is not a word, it is an action.
    I am being asked for a pause in my relationship because i don’t a job and she too not until i get a job we can get back well. It is a very difficult dream am trying to wake up. I don’t know what to do. Kind of confuse. I just want to give her that pause but i think that would the end. It hurts for the one you solely love to say such things in moment like this. It is a lesson for life. This gives me joy there would be light at the end of the tunnel.
    Love hurts.

  • ronit
    11 December, 2010,

    Mika, I know how paralyzing a breakup can be, even if its going to be a temporary one, but it is critical for you to find your inner strength to take care of yourself in this very painful time. You need to focus on developing your core, your inner being, so that you can be there for yourself. You want to find a job not to get back to her, but to get back to yourself. Listen to your inner voice and see if you can discover what work would make you happy. You need to become whole with yourself before you can fully unite with another. You may want to read this blog on your Divine Spark:
    http://ronitherzfeld.com/2010/05/31/divine-spark/

    Wishing you all the best.

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