I started writing a blog a week ago, when we returned to New York. As a matter of fact I called it, “We are back.” It began with reflections and observations about our amazing trip. It was interrupted by an urgent family medical matter. I will continue that blog another time.
This blog I am writing as I sit on the plane on my way to be with my parents in Israel. My father is in the hospital recovering from several medical conditions. His illness was unexpected and has thrown our whole family into an emotional tizzy.
Before my parents left to celebrate the Jewish New Year in early September, we all gathered to celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary.
It was one of the most wonderful and joyous days of their and our lives. My sister, brother, their grandchildren and I are blessed to have them in our lives. The deep love we feel for them is a reflection of the love they radiate, not only for each other, but also with everyone who knows them.
My parents’ vitality and determination to drink from the well of life has modeled for us, their children and grandchildren, that age is merely a state of mind. In their 80’s, their spirits are still as youthful as always.
Aging, however, is not merely a state of mind.
My parents left for Israel healthy and emotionally high from the heartful celebration. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks later my father suffered a mini stroke, which set off other medical challenges. I was notified while I was in the Amazon. It’s hard to describe the devastating sadness I felt. I knew how upset and scared my mom was, and wanted to jump on a plane to immediately go see them. Once I spoke with my sister though, it became apparent that he was stable and that it would be best if she went while I remained in Ecuador. Needless to say I was on the phone with her, my father and my mom several times a day until I returned last week.
He was doing very well until he had his surgery last Sunday. Now I sit here, anxious to see them, hug them, hear them, smell them, feel them and soothe them. My heart is aching, as I know how scared and overwhelmed they feel. The little girl in me wants to kiss the boo boo and make them feel all better. The adult in me appreciates that this is the NOW of where life is for them and for us.
Life is so full of challenges and staying present to every moment is the greatest challenge of all. It is also the greatest reward. Allowing myself to fully feel the fragility and temporality of life, leads me to feel its reverence. I am overflowing with the richness and fullness of it all.
I write this blog with the intention that in some way it may help you embrace whatever is going on in your life with flowing reverence.