The World of Shoulds

We humans come to almost every encounter or situation with expectations of how it should be.  This “should” runs our lives and is one of the major sources of our suffering.  It is hard for us to be with what is; we want things to be the way we want them to be. We use []

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Reality Based Fear

I often discuss how our amygdala, the part of our brain that is responsible for the flight/fight/freeze reaction, is hyper sensitive and gets triggered when we are not facing actual threat in our daily lives.  When it does, it actually distorts our perceptions and causes us needless heartache.  However, when we are in danger, our amygdala can []

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Filed under [ Self, Emotional Universe ]

Joy

Take a moment and think  of a time you felt joy.  What did that feel like?  What do you most remember about the moment?  Is it the actual sensation, or the event/person responsible for generating that feeling? We don’t often speak of joy.  We speak of seeking happiness, but not joy.  Why is that? When []

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Distinguishing between thoughts, feelings and sensations

We often find it difficult to distinguish between thoughts, feelings and sensations. When asked, “what do you feel?” the answer we come up with is usually a thought not a feeling. Additionally, we have a difficult time distinguishing physical sensations from emotional ones. Physical sensations include fatigue, nauseous, hunger, etc. We might say: “I’m feeling []

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Psychotherapy and Massage Therapy

When a muscle is stressed or hurt in some way, it spasms and contracts.  The reason it spasms is because it feels fragile and vulnerable, so it closes down and becomes hard to protect itself from further damage.  Often it stays in a spasm loop and when that occurs it becomes harder and harder. Over []

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Filed under [ Self, Emotional Universe ]

Wake Up!

Awareness is the key! I will keep reminding you of this most important tool. The objectives of my blog are to EDUCATE, INSPIRE and AWAKEN you.   Because we operate predominantly from our Reactive, pre-programmed Selves, we are mostly unconscious or asleep in our day to day life.  Unless we wake up from the automation []

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Triggers

How many times have you experienced the following scenario:  You are sitting with your loved one in a restaurant, on the couch in your home, or driving a car, and you are discussing something that seems benign and lighthearted.  Suddenly the discussion takes a turn and you find yourself in the middle of a heated []

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Assertive Response to Anger

My intention with this blog is to pull together some of the salient points from the last four blogs and tie them all together to demonstrate an assertive response to anger.  Few of us are able to respond assertively to anger.  Most of us fall into one or more of the types of anger expressions []

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Transforming Passive Anger

In prior blogs I have discussed two of the faces of anger.  Today I will cover the third one, passive anger.  People who express their anger passively usually direct it toward themselves.  They tend to blame themselves when things don’t go right or when they are in conflict with others.  They think very poorly of []

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Harnessing and Transforming Passive Aggressive Anger

Continuing with the discussion on anger, expression of passive-aggressive anger is probably the most difficult to harness and transform because it is the most elusive.  Individuals who express their anger with this style have a difficult time getting in touch with their anger and releasing it in any overt way.  Consequently, it is very challenging []

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